Disclaimer - This fanfic is based on the Showtime TV show "The L Word". All characters are copyright and are borrowed here without permission. No profit is made from this fiction and no infringement is intended.
Dedicated to - All the Erin Daniels and Lauren Lee Smith fans who are hoping beyond hope for a happier ending.
Dana flipped open her cellphone. “Hello?”
“This is ridiculous.” Alice’s voice rang down the line. “I always call you for a fashion check before a date. What do I do when I’m going on a date with you?”
“So you called me to check what I’m wearing?” Dana asked, amused.
“No, I called you to make sure I’m not overdressed. Are you wearing pants?”
Dana frowned. “Yes, I’m wearing pants, Al.”
“Ok, I will too. See you in an hour?”
“See you.” Dana said, and hung up. She surveyed the wreckage that was half her closet spread out upon the bed. Of course, she’d lied. She had no clue what she was wearing yet. A mischievous streak inside her caused her to walk over to the other closet and pull out her blue sundress.
Alice would go ballistic, Dana mused. But it would be a good lesson for her. She can’t control everything.
***
“You didn’t.” Alice looked Dana up and down as she stood on her doorstep, gorgeous in dress and heels.
“I did.” Dana beamed.
“But now I have to go and change.”
“Al, the reservation is in twenty minutes. You don’t have time to change.”
“You planned this.” Alice accused her, taking the last few steps down to the pavement where Dana stood. She felt suddenly awkward, being this close.
“Maybe.” Dana leaned in and stole a kiss.
“That was meant to be for later.” Alice complained.
“Well, I’m getting a head start. You got a problem with that?” Dana challenged, softly.
“All of sudden, no.” Alice replied, leaning in for another.
They separated and started walking towards Dana’s car.
***
“This place is supposed to be awesome. They have a new chef, it’s totally turned the place around.” Alice said, settling in to her seat while a waiter hovered, setting napkins on their laps and distributing menus.
Dana took in the atmosphere of the restaurant. It was cosy, with maybe twelve tables, all full. The level of conversation was steady but not overwhelming. Candlelight flickered from specially made lamps on the tables. “It’s really lovely, Al. Thank you.”
“I should be thanking you. It was your name that got us in here tonight.”
Dana flushed. “Really? I’m so not used to that.”
Alice smiled and reached across the table for Dana’s hand. “Relax, Dana. We can’t pretend we haven’t known each other for years just because things are suddenly different between us.”
“I’m relaxed. I kissed you, remember?”
“Yes, you did.” Alice smiled.
Dana shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Ever since they arrived she’d felt vaguely weird about the place, like she shouldn’t be here. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” She said at last.
“Well, if it’s first date nerves, just forget about them. I already like you, OK? You don’t have to impress me.”
Dana grinned and nodded. “OK, I’ll try.”
***
The waiter crunched the swinging doors against the wall as he rushed through, talking fast as he went.
“Hey guys, I think we have our first real celebrity.”
The kitchen staff all looked up as one. Lara Perkins leaned around from behind the stove. “Really? Who?”
“I thought it was her and then I checked the reservation book. Dana Fairbanks is out there.”
Lara blinked in shock. “You’re kidding me.”
“No, it’s her. Go look for yourself.”
The peephole from the kitchen out to the dining area was just behind the swinging doors. Lara moved over to it and looked out, her eye desperately scanning the restaurant. When she found Dana she let out a long breath. “Oh, boy.”
“What’s up?” Marie, Lara’s assistant, came up behind her carrying a huge platter of fresh crabs.
Lara took the handles. “Here, let me take that. And there’s nothing wrong. I just have a little history with Dana, that’s all.”
“Dana?” Marie repeated, playfully.
“Yes, Dana.” Lara replied, hefting the platter up onto the bench. “Here, we have to clean and stuff these.” She directed some kitchen hands to the task and moved around to look after the sauce she was finishing. Marie followed her around, bright eyed and curious. Lara shrugged. “We went out for a few months. I guess I’m allowed to say that now that she outed herself in every magazine in the country. I haven’t seen her for… I don’t know how long.”
Pete, one of the waiters, peered out to perve on Dana. “I bet you remember exactly how long it’s been since you saw her.” He whistled appreciatively. “Great bod. But who’s she with?”
“Alice Pieszecki. She’s a writer at LA Magazine.” Lara replied, not looking up from the pot she was stirring.
“Is she doing an interview here do you think? Because that would be great.”
Lara thought about it. “I doubt it. They’ve been best friends for years. They’re probably just here to eat.”
“Friends, huh? So why are they holding hands?” The waiter asked.
Lara burned her finger on the sauce and hit her head loudly on the side of the range hood. “Ow! Fuck! What?”
Pete nodded. “Yeah. Sorry.”
“I could care less. She dumped me. I moved on. Obviously so did she.” Lara said. She turned to the chef beside her. “Can you finish this? That fish needs to come out.”
“The fish is gay, too?” Marie laughed.
Pete snorted. “Isn’t everything in West Hollywood?” He passed by Lara who was still rubbing her sore head. “You should get someone to look at that.” Lara shrugged him off.
“We could put a special surprise in her date’s food?” Marie suggested.
Lara recoiled. “Play a food prank on a writer for LA Magazine? Don’t even joke about that.”
“Come on, you can’t let her leave here without at least saying hello.” Pete insisted.
“You are a hopeless romantic.” Lara accused, then realised the entire kitchen staff was looking at her expectantly. “Do we not have anything to do?” She exclaimed.
Marie crossed her arms, defiantly. One by one the kitchen staff followed.
Lara laughed. “OK, OK. Oh my God, that’s burning… There might be something I can do. Anyone know where we keep the bamboo skewers?”
***
The waiter hovered as Alice and Dana looked down at their platters of food that had just been delivered from the kitchen.
“Umm, I’m sorry…” Dana started and signalled the waiter.
Alice looked over. “What did you order again?”
“Veal schnitzel.” Dana said
"That's the weirdest looking veal schnitzel I've ever seen," commented Alice.
"Yeah." Dana regarded the veggies on skewers, complete with perfect grill marks and dipping sauce, with something approaching ... nostalgia? She looked up at the waiter, who was barely keeping his amusement in check. "As nice as this looks, it’s not what I ordered. I'm going to ... ahhh ... go complain to the chef."
Alice frowned. “Dana, isn’t that overkill? Just send it back.”
“I really think I should.” Dana insisted.
"If you’re going to do it, let me!" Alice's eyes lit up at the opportunity. “I’m good at these things.”
"No, it's fine..." Dana seemed oddly distracted as she rose to her feet and headed for the kitchen. Alice watched her go, trailing the waiter along behind her.
As she reached the kitchen doors, the waiter held a hand in front of her. “I’m sorry, Ms Fairbanks. You can’t really go back there. Health regulations.”
“No?” Dana replied. “Watch me.”
She marched through the swinging doors.
***
Dana strode through into the kitchen and surveyed it. As the waiter followed her in she turned around to face him. “Which one is the head chef?”
He looked around, not able to see Lara anywhere. “She must be out the back.” He pointed to a door in the rear of the kitchen. Dana nodded her thanks and threaded her way through the kitchen to the door, knocking gingerly.
A muffled “come in” sounded from the other side. She turned the handle and walked in.
Lara turned around in the small break room. There wasn’t much room to move, and even less now that Dana was blocking the doorway.
Dana closed the door behind her.
“Ms Fairbanks. Is there something wrong with your food?” Lara asked, politely.
“I knew it was you. You’re the new head chef here.” Dana said.
“Yes, I am.”
Dana held out her hand. “Congratulations.”
Lara shook Dana’s hand and pretended that she didn’t feel the heat of Dana’s touch all the way up her arm. She was afraid her skin was flushed. “Thanks.”
Dana noticed the fresh bandage on Lara’s middle finger. “You hurt yourself again.”
“Oh, that. It’s nothing.”
Dana took a step forward, blown away by this first sight of Lara in so long. She’d been so wrong and since then so embarrassed, she hadn’t been able to bring herself to call Lara, even to beg for forgiveness. Lara looked almost exactly the same. Her hair was a little longer, and darker maybe, but the rest… it was achingly familiar.
Lara cleared her throat. “I love your hair. It’s so different. It looks great.”
Dana touched her shoulder-length hair self-consciously. “Yeah, Shane decided I needed a new look.”
“You look really good.” Lara said. “It’s so good to see you.”
“Is that why you sent me the vegetables? Because you wanted to see me?” Dana asked.
Lara shifted her weight onto her other foot. Dana knew that sign. Lara was nervous. “I’m not sure why I did that. I guess I just wanted to say hi, somehow. I didn’t know if you’d remember.”
“Of course I remembered. Some women send flowers, others send vegetables.” Dana quipped.
“Yeah…” Lara smiled. “You know me.”
Dana’s face went serious. “I used to.”
“I haven’t changed, Dana. But I think you have. A lot.”
“I’ve missed you.” Dana said.
Lara breathed out, a long breath she hadn’t realised she was holding. “I missed you too. It was so sudden. I was unprepared.”
Dana nodded. “I know, I’m so sorry.”
“Why didn’t you call? I mean, after…”
“…I came out?” Dana said. Lara nodded. “I was too embarrassed at first. I thought you’d hate me. Then I got involved with someone.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, but she turned out to be just after me for my money.”
“Ah.”
“And now there’s Alice.” Dana finished.
“Yes.” Lara said. She didn’t know what else to say. “Speaking of which, don’t you think you’ve yelled at the chef long enough? You should get back to your date. I’ll make sure your dinner is on the house. Just please, don’t let Alice write anything bad about us.”
Dana’s smile was tinged with sadness. “I won’t. I promise.” She lingered, taking in Lara’s form again, like she was seeing her for the first time. Her body reacted just as strongly now as it did then. They had even less space now between them now than they had in the country club locker room when Lara had made the first bold move.
The first move. Dana had the distinct feeling that if she wanted to do anything about what she was feeling it would be up to her to make the move. Lara wouldn’t… couldn’t. Not again. Not this time.
“Bye, Dana.” Lara leaned in and kissed her cheek. Dana’s skin burned with that brief touch. Her hand moved briefly on its own to touch it. Lara misinterpreted her gesture and inspected the spot carefully. “You’re safe. No stray lipstick.”
“No, I…OK.” Dana smiled. “Bye Lara.”
Dana turned and walked out. She pretended that all the eyes in the kitchen weren’t burning into her back as she left.
***
Dana sat down again at the table, giving Alice a quick smile. “All taken care of.”
“Are you OK?” Alice asked. “You were gone for ages. I was about to come in looking for you.”
“Yeah, actually, after the chef got through apologising, the manager figured out who I was and decided he needed to show me through the kitchens… he gave me the whole tour. It was fascinating actually.”
“They took the old food away.” Alice remarked. On cue the waiter appeared with fresh servings, this time exactly as they’d ordered.
He placed the steaming plates in front of each of them. “I’m sorry for the inconvenience ladies, your dinner is on the house this evening. Can I offer you the wine list?”
Alice nodded, looking impressed. “Good going, Dana. I never thought you had it in you.”
“Yeah well, you know, no problem.” Dana did her best to force out a casual grin. “Better to go in there and chat rather than do it out here and cause a scene. Next thing you know there’ll be something in LA Magazine about Dana Fairbanks abusing waiters at a local restaurant.”
Alice threw her a dirty look, but laughed. Their waiter returned with fresh water and conversation turned to other things. Dana suddenly felt a whole lot less nervous, but a whole lot more confused.
***
Dana stopped when they reached Alice’s front door.
“Did you want to come in?” Alice hinted blandly, putting her key in the lock.
“Actually, Al, I don’t think I will. Not this time. Not yet.” Dana replied.
“Are you all right?” Alice asked, confused. She hadn’t expected to be turned down.
“Yeah, I just want to take things slow I guess. I’ve made a lot of mistakes recently, jumping in and out of relationships.” Dana said.
Alice snorted. “I knew from the start Tonya was wrong for you.”
“Yeah well, I guess it was a mistake I had to make.”
“Dana, you were dressing alike. It was horrible.”
Dana chuckled. “I get it, Al. Believe me, I know.”
“And you’re sure you don’t want to come in.” Alice pressed.
“Yes. Yes I’m sure.” Dana stepped up to meet Alice at the top of the stairs, pressing her lips softly against hers. “Soon, maybe.”
They kissed again. Dana closed her eyes and revelled in the softness of Alice’s lips, her body under her hands. Then she saw flashes of red hair in her mind. Long red hair, coupled with intense blue eyes and a sweet smile. She broke off the kiss, breathing heavily.
Alice’s eyes shone. “Wow. Dana. You are so hot.”
“You’re not so bad yourself.” Dana replied, backing off down the stairs. “Goodnight, Alice. Sleep well.”
“Sleep? You think I could sleep after that?” Alice replied. She smiled and disappeared through her doorway, closing the door firmly behind her.
Dana stood watching for a few moments, her mind whirling. Then she made a decision. She opened up her cell phone and dialled the number of the restaurant.
“Yes. Yes you can help me. I was wondering what time your kitchen closes this evening?”
***
The kitchen staff trickled out through the back entrance and one by one headed off into the warm, LA night. They were boisterous, glad to be finished but still riding high on the evening’s work. It had been an unusually eventful night.
Lara sighed to herself as she shoved the last of her things into her backpack and got ready to head home. She wasn’t sure she would ever live this evening down. Her staff had seen a little too much more of her personal life than she would otherwise have liked. But at least they were all being nice about it, even if she would have to put up with being teased for weeks to come.
She’d taken this job not only because it was an excellent promotion, but also because her job at the country club had been way too close to Dana for her comfort. Now Dana knew where she worked again. She wasn’t sure she liked that idea much. Seeing her tonight had been painful in ways she hadn’t imagined it would be.
She stepped outside, locked the door and turned left, headed for her car.
“Lara?”
The familiar voice stopped her cold. “Dana? What are you doing here?”
Dana stepped out of the darkness near the building next door. “I was waiting for you.”
They met in the middle of the alleyway. Lara was suddenly very glad she’d been the last one to leave the kitchen tonight. “You’re stalking me now?” She tried to keep her voice light.
“Do you want me to go?”
Lara didn’t hesitate. “No. Take me home?”
***
Lara opened her apartment door and pushed inside, Dana immediately on her heels. The rush of familiarity as Dana entered Lara’s apartment again was like dizziness. She had to shake her head to clear it of all the millions of sensations threatening to overwhelm her. There was Lara’s overflowing bookcase; cooking books, photography books, travel.... Lara’s camera was balanced haphazardly on the mantle. There was the comfortable couch where they’d watched TV and made love countless times. The old but cosy kitchen where Lara had cooked for her again and again. All of it meant so much.
Lara watched Dana’s face and the myriad reactions playing in her eyes. “What is it?”
Dana swallowed hard as she looked around. “I’ve been away too long.”
“Can you stay?”
“I don’t think I could leave if I wanted to.”
Lara put a hand behind Dana’s neck and pulled her to her, their lips closing on one another’s, at first almost furiously and then with long, deep kisses. Dana felt her body scream for the first time in so long. She knew it felt amazing to kiss Alice, but Alice felt new, exotic, vaguely unreachable. They were two puzzle pieces who’d been sitting side by side on the board for so long they didn’t know how to fit together.
This felt perfect.