Walls Are Falling
"Adam!" Shalimar's voice echoed over the Mutant X comm link.
Adam replied from his desk at Sanctuary. "Shalimar? What's the trouble?"
"I'm here with the kid, but there's three GSA agents, one of them with stealth powers. I think I might need some help."
Emma lifted her head from the book she was reading. She looked around her in the nearly-empty bookstore, making sure there was nobody nearby who could overhear the conversation.
"Jesse's headed for the Helix now. He'll be there as soon as he can."
"How soon is that?" Shalimar's voice continued. "I might not have that much time."
"Adam." Emma whispered into her link. "I'm closer, I'm barely two blocks away from Shal's position. I can help get them out."
"No Emma, it's too dangerous." Adam replied.
"Too dangerous for me but not too dangerous for Jesse and Shalimar? That's ridiculous Adam and you know it. I can take care of myself." Emma was already running, out of the shop and down the street.
"Emma, be careful!" Adam knew better to argue when his stubborn telempath made up her mind. All he could was try to minimise the damage. "Jesse, are you in the air yet?"
"Almost."
Emma missed the rest of the conversation as she concentrated on running. She felt the steady rhythm of her own breathing as she ran, knowing her fitness was more than up to the challenge. She'd stepped up her training routine lately. Her arms pumped and she was pleasantly surprised at how easily and quickly she cleared the distance between the mall and the building she knew Shalimar was in. Barely out of breath she stopped outside the entrance, noting the guarded entrance.
Two stories up was the balcony she was fairly sure Shalimar would have used for her entrance. She half-smiled - no harm in realising her limitations. That wasn't really an option for her. But there were other ways. She concentrated and projected out with her mind. The two guards twitched, then each of them had a feeling pass through them, that there was someone coming from around the other side. They both abandoned their post by the door and went to check it out. Emma used the opportunity she'd created to slip past them and through the open doorway.
"Shalimar." She whispered through the comm. "Where are you?"
"Third floor." Shal replied. "There's at least three goons between you and me. One of the bastards is invisible."
"Not a problem." Emma replied. Stretching with her mind she instantly read the location of every person in the building. Human radar, she chuckled. Not bad for a helpless telempath. "Shal, behind you!"
"There's no one there!" Shalimar hissed back.
"There is, about eight metres and closing. You should be able to hear his footsteps even if you can't see him."
She pictured feral eyes blazing as she felt Shalimar reach inside her for those enhanced senses given to her through her mutant DNA. Emma could feel rather than see the conflict, almost so clearly she could picture the combatants in her mind. She raced up the stairwell, encountering one of the less formidable goons on the way up. She dealt with him with a single psionic blast, watching in satisfaction as he first crumpled to the ground and then began a freefall down the stairs. She jumped past him and continued on.
Shalimar was still dealing with the stealth mutant. Emma took the stairs two by two.
A crackle hissed over the comm. "Emma! Shalimar! It's Jess. I'm parked on the roof."
"Just stay there." Emma ordered. "We're on our way out."
"Are you sure? Adam said..." Jesse began.
"Jesse, we need a quick escape more than we need a chaperone. I said we're on our way."
"Roger that." He replied.
Emma hit the third floor stairwell and burst through the door. A small child huddled in the far corner, helpless and wide eyed. One agent stood between her and the child, while Shalimar battled an enemy she couldn't see. She was bruised, glaring around her in confusion. emma felt the flash of hope that radiated from Shal as she camne through the door. She let it bolster her confidence. At least one of her teammates thought her arrival would be useful.
The agent advanced on her and they traded blows. He tried to manoevre himself between Emma and the child but she landed a swift kick to his head that propelled him sideways. Two more kicks to the agent and he was out cold. Emma turned her attention to Shalimar and the stealth mutant, trying to figure out a way to take him down without causing Shalimar any harm.
At the edges of her consciousness Emma knew instantly when four more agents entered the building downstairs.
"Shal, we've got company. Four more on the first floor."
Shalimar grunted, on the receiving end of the stealth mutant's kick. Emma made a decision and sent out a psionic pulse that knocked both the stealth mutant and Shalimar off their feet. With his brain functions impeded the stealth materialised again. Shalimar struggled on the floor, holding her head between her hands.
"Sorry Shal.." Emma said as she knocked the stealth mutant unconscious. "Jesse, right below you. Help me get Shalimar and the kid out of here."
Seconds later Jesse phased through the ceiling, landing nimbly on the wooden floor beside Shalimar. Dragging the stealth by his collar he pulled him over to the window and up the fire escape to the roof. Emma felt the agents as they got closer. She slapped Shalimar's face. "Shal! Snap out of it. I need you to walk." She pushed into Shalimar's mind and stimulated her brain, willing her into consciousness.
Shalimar's eyes snapped open. "What... what happened?"
"No time. Get out the window and upstairs. The Helix is on the roof. Go!"
Emma grabbed the small child and felt his small body quivering in fear. Shalimar did as she was told, gingerly picking her way outside and up the ladder. Emma followed, gently cradling the child against her body.
Finally when they reached the Helix Emma put the child into one of the seats and relaxed against the bulkhead of the ship. Shalimar was still cradling her head in her hands. The ship lurched and spun as Jesse took off and guided into the air and the safety of stealth mode.
Emma looked over at Shalimar. "I'm sorry Shal. It was meant to just hit the goon. I didn't have quite enough control on it to avoid you."
Shal smiled softly. "It's cool, we're out." She rubbed her temples. "Anything you can do to make my brain feel less like scrambled eggs?"
"Sure." Emma knelt down in front of Shal and placed a hand on either side of her head, concentrating on the pain Shalimar was experiencing in her frontal lobes.
Slowly, gently, she began to send out soothing images straight into Shalimar's cerebral cortex; pictures of calm water, gentle waves, outstretched plains of nothingness stretching out for miles. She felt Shal's brainwaves connect with her own and smiled, taking them both on a gentle ride of peacefulness, slowly draining the pain she could see in Shal's eyes.
More images followed. Sun soaked beaches, plains of nothing but long grass. Floating in a pool of cool water.
Emma smiled and felt herself getting lost in the moment. She pictured herself and Shalimar walking along a clifftop, a calm ocean below them and seabirds flying overhead. They were holding hands, staring intently... looking into each other's eyes. Emma pulled Shalimar close and the feral responded, their mouths meeting.
The contact broke with a sharpness Emma didn't intend. Shalimar looked over at her friend with shock, seeing Emma's remorse, and more. Guilt? Embarrassment? Emma looked away quickly, unable to meet the intensity of Shalimar's curious eyes.
Fuck. Emma thought to herself. Fuck, fuck, fuck. How could she let that get so out of control? Spilling her own feelings over into a simple emotion manipulation? That was a technique she'd mastered years ago, before she even knew what Mutant X was. Losing her walls like that was unheard of. She flushed.
And now Shalimar knew.
If Shal was disturbed by what she'd seen she did her best not to let it show, knowing instinctively that Emma wouldn't dare come into her head again. All she had to do was keep her face straight, her eyes casual. It had all happened so fast. But it was all in their heads. NOthing actually happened.
Just... wow. That was a mind fuck. The pain was gone, and her thoughts felt clear, all her own. But she felt anything but calm.
***
Emma closed her eyes and laid her head on her pillow, ready for the ritual she did at the end of every day. Slowly, gently she let down the barriers she placed around her mind for her own self-preservation. The others just thought she was a night person, but Emma knew there was another reason she always went to bed late, long after everyone else had fallen exhausted into their beds. Only Adam ever outlasted her, working long hours locked away in his lab. She could only bear to let her guard down when her teammates slept, so they no longer projected their thoughts into the air around them.
As she dropped the walls she felt the gentle breathing of her teammates in their own rooms. Shalimar purred, soft as a newborn kitten. Brennan lay in his bed like stone, almost inhumanly still, his sleep not usually bothered by dreams of any kind. Jesse rolled in his sleep, stirring fitfully in his dreams but not waking. It comforted her to feel their presence as she fell asleep. Even here in Sanctuary she found she could never completely relax. She didn't want to invade the minds of her trusted friends. They knew that she guarded herself carefully from them and their private thoughts, to the point of paranoia. It would have been a breach of their trust to read them without permission.
But in those last few moments before sleep she allowed herself to wrap her mind around them, enveloping her friends in her thoughts, laying across them the kind of blanket of safety that only she could provide. Anything that disturbed them would disturb her too, well in time for her to do something about it, to try and protect them somehow. It was yet another talent that none of them knew she possessed. Perhaps it was better left that way.
She slept, until she felt something stir.
"Emma..."
Emma's eyes slid open quickly, as if she'd never dropped off to sleep.
"Emma..."
She slid out of bed, alert to everything around her, searching every corner of the room for the source of the voice, but she knew instinctively it was coming from outside. She slid the door of her room open and checked the corridor, padding barefoot down the long hall into the open main hall of Sanctuary.
"Emma..." The voice whispered again. It wasn't calling her in her mind. It was out loud.
"Shal?" Emma whispered back, shaking off the last clouds of sleep. She slammed her walls back into place, with only the barest gap in her conscious reserved for that whispered voice calling her, searching her out.
Shalimar sat cross-legged on the holopad, eyes closed, arms relaxed and hanging loosely at her sides.
Emma crossed the cold floor quickly, wishing she's wrapped herself in some kind of robe. She shivered against the night air. Shalimar was all in black - the black tights with black crop top she often wore for training. A bead of sweat keened across her forehead. Her wild blonde hair was swept up in a loose ponytail. She looked beautiful, Emma allowed herself to admit.
She climbed the small flight of stairs. "Couldn't sleep?"
Shalimar slowly opened her eyes. "I knew you did that."
"Did what?" Emma yawned, plopping herself down beside Shalimar.
"Slept with one eye open." Shalimar said. "So to speak."
"Or half a brain." Emma returned, wryly.
"I knew you'd be able to hear me if I called for you. You don't need to protect us you know. This place is impregnable."
"Well, it never hurts to have one more eye on the door." Emma replied, lightly. "Besides, I don't always do it."
"Yeah, you do." Shalimar said.
Emma didn't reply, just shifted herself over so she was sitting cross legged in front of Shalimar. "Did you want to work on those relaxation exercises again together? I could help you get back to sleep if you're having trouble." Emma offered.
Shal shook her head. "I'm not sure I want to get back to sleep. I've got a lot going on in my head. I'm trying to work through it."
"Shalimar." Emma started, her shoulders tense. "About this afternoon..."
Shal held up a hand to stop her. "Don't, please Emma? Don't apologise. I don't want you to."
"Then what do you want from me?" Emma asked.
"Just... I don't know. Just sit here with me." Shalimar said. "Can you do that?"
"Are you kidding? I spend most of my time sitting around, staring at the universe."
"Good." Shal settled back into position and closed her eyes again. "Good."
Emma watched Shalimar for a while, careful not to engage the feral's mind. Despite the fact that she wanted desperately to feel Shal's emotions at that moment, more than she'd ever wanted to feel anything in her life. So many questions that she might never know the answers to unless she just went in there and plucked out the answers.
She breathed, a voice in her head willing her to self-control. This was a test, she thought. Shalimar wants to know if I can stop myself from finding out what I want to know. Emma Delauro, who spends most of her life just taking knowledge when she wants it, manipulating people and their emotions for her own ends. She could will Shalimar into loving her if she wanted to. She could make the gorgeous woman in front of her fall to her knees and declare undying love and devotion.
But it would feel as hopeless and empty as it had felt her whole life.
Well, Emma thought grimly, I'll have to figure it out the old-fashioned way.
The decision calmed her somewhat inside and she relaxed her muscles with her standard meditation techniques that thanks to Adam were almost second nature to her now. And it wasn't as if sitting here staring at Shalimar was such a bad way to spend the time. Quite the opposite.
***
"Jesse, can I ask you something?" Shalimar asked, dropping the fighting pike she held to her side.
Jess looked up, face sweaty from their workout. "Sure."
"Have you ever thought about what it would be like to, you know, fall for someone here? I mean, one of us?"
"Yeah, lots of times." Jesse admitted.
"And?"
"And what? I thought it was a bad idea. We've got too much riding on each other to let emotions like that get in the way." He said.
Shal dropped her eyes, disappointed. "Oh."
"Oh?" Jesse asked, his curiosity piqued. Shal refused to look up. "I knew it."
"Knew what?" Shal replied, defensively.
"Knew you had feelings for Brennan."
Shalimar almost laughed. "Brennan?”
Jesse’s face dropped. “You don’t mean… me? Shal, we’ve been friends a long time, I don’t know if…”
“It’s not you Jesse, it’s Emma.” She stopped and finally looked up, placing her hands on her hips as if finding it difficult to draw breath.
“Emma? Delauro?”
“There’s another Emma?”
Jesse contemplated this for a moment, stunned. “That’s huge. When did you know?”
“I didn’t. I mean… when I thought we’d lost her, when I thought she was dead and I carried her all the way back here to Sanctuary, I thought I was going to die too, the pain was so bad. Then when she opened her eyes again and she was alive… Jess, I can’t describe the feeling.”
“You don’t have to.” He said.
Shal nodded. “And then yesterday, on our way back here in the Helix, Emma kissed me.”
Jesse’s brow creased in confusion. “OK, I know I’m sometimes pretty clueless about what’s going on around here, but I’m pretty sure I would have noticed something like that. I was sitting right there.”
“Not physically…” Shal dropped to the ground, exasperated. “Just in my mind, while she was fixing the damage her mind burst did to me. She dropped her walls and there it was. Like it was physically happening to me. I felt it.”
“Well, we all know how powerful she is.” Jesse said, squatting down next to her.
“You’re wrong Jesse. I don’t think any of us has a clue how powerful she is.”
“But that’s besides the point.” Jesse smiled. “You’re attracted to her?”
“You’re getting off on this in some disgusting guy way, aren’t you?” Shalimar accused him, taking the edge of the comment with a small curl of her lip.
He stood. “Well, I have to say, it is intriguing. You a master of movement, she a master of the mind… It could be, well, fun.”
She whacked his leg. “Get your icky imagination off my love life.”
“What love life? Like you said, it was all in your head, remember?” Jess shot back. “What are you going to do about it?”
Shalimar grabbed the fighting pike and leapt to her feet, feral eyes glowing. “I’m gonna whip your butt, that’s what I’m gonna do about it.”
Jesse laughed, but took his defensive stance. “Denial, denial, denial…”
They were interrupted by Adam’s sharp voice, echoing down from the top of the stairs. “Jesse, Shalimar. Have either of you seen Emma?”
Jesse immediately looked at Shalimar, his eyes teasing. “Not me. Shalimar, have you seen Emma this morning?”
Shalimar barely held a blush in check. She threw Jesse a nasty look. “Actually I didn’t think she was up yet. What’s up?”
“She’s not in Sanctuary. She didn’t take the Helix or any of the cars.” Adam frowned. “And she switched off her comm link. I wish you guys would stop just doing that every time you’re in a bad mood.”
Sahalimar held up a placating hand. “All right, all right, Adam, I’ll find her. If she left by foot she couldn’t have gotten far. I’ll be able to track her.”
“She doesn’t do this. It’s not like her.” Adam said.
“Well…” Shalimar said. “Maybe she had something to think about. Alone.”
Adam gave a last shake of his head. “Just go find her. At least so we know she’s all right.”
“I’m on my way.” Shalimar nodded, moving to pack up their training gear.
Jesse stopped her. “I’ll handle that. Just go. Figure this thing out one way or the other so it doesn’t prevent either of you from doing what you need to do.”
Shalimar gave him a grateful look. He squeezed her hand gently.
***
Three steps out of the doors of Sanctuary and Shalimar had Emma’s scent. It was strong, fresh, as if it had been barely minutes since Emma had walked past this way. There were a great number of scents that Shal just knew like second nature. Emma, Brennan, Jesse, Adam… those scents were as familiar as breathing.
She set off up the hillside and into the bushland of the coastline that surrounded the northernmost entrance to Sanctuary. The hills were rocky here. They sometimes had tourists walking past on their way down to the water, totally oblivious to what lay just thirty feet below, buried under so much rock. Planes flew by, boats harboured along the coastline… they were all clueless. It was a credit to Adam’s genius, and it was the only thing that kept them all safe.
But phyically safe was one thing. Emotionally safe, now that required a whole different set of walls. Shalimar had been pretty certain the walls around her heart were as solid and impenetrable as the defenses around Sanctuary. In the past six years only another feral had touched her heart. She’d almost given up up her mutant powers to be with him.
Now another mutant was here to tear down everything she’d built up to protect herself. This time not a feral. This time someone who could look right into your heart, see your innermost thoughts and twist and turn them against you. She could make your greatest fears come to life and dance before your eyes. She could make you think and feel anything she pleased.
And she looks beautiful. Shalimar stopped short as she climbed over a ridge and spotted Emma. She was sitting cross legged on a rock high above where Shalimar stood, her eyes closed in meditation, the sunlight streaming over her body, glinting in the red highlights of her hair. Emma was wearing a simple pair of black pants, black hiking boots and a white singlet top. The effect was dazzling.
It wasn’t hard to believe this powerful-looking woman sitting high above the water was capable of the things Shalimar knew she was. What was hard to believe was that beautiful face could harbor any kind of deception. Just from the habit of living together, training together, working together, Shalimar had built up a level of trust in her Mutant X teammates that she truly believed nothing could ever penetrate. Even now with her feelings so confused, her body tingling and her heart pumping, she trusted this woman with her life. If you could trust someone with keeping you alive, didn’t it make sense that you could trust them with everything else?
She kept climbing, eventually coming up close to where Emma sat. There was no doubt Emma knew she was there. Shal didn’t have the heart to disturb her.
Emma made the decision for her. Slowly, as Shalimar crept closer, Emma opened her eyes. “How did I know you’d find me?” Her serious face relaxed and spread out into a small, soft smile.
“Adam was worried.” Shalimar said. She climbed the last few metres to the platform Emma was sitting on and hoisted herself up beside her. “So was I.”
“No need. I just wanted some air.” Emma breathed in deeply, as if to demonstrate the point.
“Adam also asked me to calmly remind you that comm links are not to be switched off just because you feel like it.”
“It’s not off.” Emma raised her hand, indicating to her ring. “I just wasn’t answering.”
Shalimar chuckled. “OK. I can’t really bust your ass for that. I’ve done it too.”
They sat together for a moment in companionable silence. Emma finished the last of her meditations, rounding them off with the required number of deep, concentrated breaths. After she was done she stretched out her neck. Shalimar watched her movements with undisgusied admiration.
“You’re watching me.” Emma complained softly.
“Yes, well, under the circumstances I didn’t think you’d mind.”
“Shalimar, I tried to apologise…”
“And I’m going to tell you again. Don’t.” Shal turned herself slightly to face Emma, reaching out for her hand. She knew that she’d held Emma’s hand before, but she hadn’t really noticed how soft it was. “Did you manipulate my reaction to you?”
Emma shook her head. “No, I didn’t.”
“So what makes you think you have anything to apologise for that I don’t?”
Emma had no answer for that. She fell silent, watching the waves in the distance. The feeling of Shalimar’s hand holding hers was an enormous distraction.
After a long while, Emma squeezed Shal’s hand. “Can I show you something?”
“Anything.” Shal moved to rise to her feet.
Emma shook her head and just shifted a little where she was sitting. “We’re not going to go anywhere. I just need you to keep hold of my hand. And trust me.”
“I think I can do that.” Shalimar replied.
Within moments Shalimar felt herself floating. She looked down, sure that her actual body had not moved from it’s spot on the platform.
Emma spoke in her mind. “Just trust me.” Shalimar suddenly realised what Emma meant by trust. She had to trust only in Emma – not her own feelings, not her own senses. She had to put all her emotional power in Emma’s hands. It was difficult, but inch by inch she forced herself to let go of her physicality. As each moment passed she released the tension from her body and simply let herself follow.
They rose up together, flying gently on a southerly breeze that took them well away from the shores of Sanctuary. Over the wind Shalimar heard voices, like the chatter on a crossed telephone wire. She opened herself up a little, or was that Emma who opened up? It didn’t matter because suddenly they were one and listening to the thoughts and emotions of people. First there felt like there were hundreds… then thousands… fear, sorrow, anger, happiness, passion… Shalimar almost laughed out loud as they brushed past the emotions of a couple having sex, she felt the jolt of desire through her whole body.
She was aware that Emma was holding back. She was flitering through the emotions as they came, only allowing Shalimar a glimpse of what it was like in her world. But it was enough. Shal shivered and retreated back a step. Emma understood the signal and floated them back again, back first into their own minds and then into their own bodies again. Shalimar was relieved as she regained the feeling in her arms and legs.
Then they were alone again, on the clifftop. Or, Shal thought, she was alone, in her own thoughts. Was Emma ever truly alone in hers?
“No…” Emma answered. Shalimar realised she’d voiced the question out loud. Or had she? “I’m never truly alone. But I can put up walls, powerful walls, to shield out anything I don’t want to feel.”
“Even your own emotions?” Shalimar asked.
Emma nodded. “That’s too easy.”
“Can you feel this?” Shal whispered, as she reached over with her hand to lightly brush the skin at the nape of Emma’s neck. She watched Emma shiver under her fingertips. The sensation of Emma’s skin spread a warmth down her arm, through the rest of her body.
“Yeah… I can feel that.”
“Do you want to feel it?”
“Yes.”
“Do you want me?”
Emma turned her head to meet Shalimar’s eyes with her own. “Yes.”
The kiss was gentle, almost experimental. Lips and tongues met tentatively, neither of them inexperienced, but knowing this was a moment they wanted to savour. Shalimar’s eyes gleamed as she pulled back. She licked her lips seductively.
Emma couldn’t help laughing. “If that was meant to be sexy, it worked.”
Shalimar leaned over and sniffed the air around Emma. “You’re right. It did. I can smell you.”
“Shalimar? Emma?” Adam’s voice came ringing down the comm link.
Shalimar lifted her hand instinctively. “Yeah, Adam?”
“Shalimar. Did you find Emma?”
“I’m right here, Adam.” Emma spoke into her own link.
“Good. I need you both back here urgently. Something’s come up.”
“We’ll be right there.” Shalimar replied, switching off.
“Great timing…” Emma sighed. She reached out and stroked Shalimar’s shoulder, her eyes sweeping longingly over muscled forearms.
Shalimar purred at the touch. “It’s not so bad. I’m not in any hurry. We have all the time in the world.”
Emma smiled and leaned in for another kiss. “Yes. Yes we do.”
THE END