silver haze
A film can be excellent even if I personally did not enjoy watching it. Silver Haze was that kind of film. Having spent my time in the dirt growing up, I found it somewhat triggering to be faced with this gritty slice of life that pulls no punches about growing up poor and traumatised in London. There’s no doubt Sacha Polak has produced a beautifully shot and stunning film, but it wasn’t at all a pleasant or entertaining experience.
Silver Haze has an awful lot to say, and a short amount of time in which to say it. There’s one or two storylines too many here, but they all have their hard and soft moments. Polak sets up this grisly reality just so they can showcase moments of transcendent beauty. We feel the soothing cool of water versus the sharpness of fire. The warmth of a hug versus the shock of violence. Pleasurable moments are few and far between, but that’s all the more reason why they need to be absorbed while they’re here.
The story follows Franky (in a devastating performance by Vicky Knight), who is a nurse, and a trauma victim. After almost dying in a fire as a child, she bears both the physical and emotional scars as best she can, but at the film’s beginning she is starting to crack under the weight.
Franky meets Florance (Esmé Creed-Miles) at work in a moment of kindness, after Flo has been hospitalised following a suicide attempt. The two begin to meet up outside the hospital, and Frankie finds herself drawn to Flo’s energy and poetic, free-flowing beauty. It feels free, and so much different from her trapped current reality.
Frankie is then introduced to Flo’s extended family- her grandmother and disabled younger brother- and while Flo descends into a kind of madness, the family adopt Frankie as one of their own. They are all lost souls trying to carve out moments of happiness within the struggle. Unfortunately, Flo is truly mentally unstable, and as much as Franky struggles to hold on to this newfound love, she’s not surprised to see it unravel.
Franky’s sister Leah (played by Vicky’s real-life sister Charlotte Knight) has an abusive relationship, is convicted of a crime for defending herself, and decides to turn Muslim. To Franky it seems bizarre, but no more bizarre than the rest of the things in their lives, and she sincerely loves her little sister, so she takes it in stride.
This is a visual slog through a life that many would consider not worth living, and Frankie has her own doubts at times, but she simply keeps on going. Her resilience, optimism, and capacity for love are mind-blowing, as is her capacity for spontaneous anger and violence. She dances with joy at a rave, then throws Molotov cocktails through windows. She can fight or comfort at the drop of a hat. She is a mass of wounds, and bounces between extremities.
Her newfound attraction to women plays with her head, but she physically works through it, transforming both emotionally and physically to cope with this new facet of her life. If there’s any hope it’ll bring joy and relief from her dismal world, Franky will embrace it. After all, what does she have to lose? In fact, the only thing she doesn’t seem to be able to meet head on is the trauma from the past, which drags her inexorably down, forcing her to find a way towards living with it in peace.
Apparently the story was partially inspired by Vicky Knight’s own life, which doesn’t make the whole thing easier to watch. Bring your fortitude, your compassion, and your patience to this one. It rewards the effort, and much like Franky’s life you will find moments of joy within the ugliness.